{"id":2609,"date":"2024-01-22T20:24:39","date_gmt":"2024-01-22T20:24:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/?p=2609"},"modified":"2024-01-22T20:45:33","modified_gmt":"2024-01-22T20:45:33","slug":"on-respect-impact-and-wellbeing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/22\/on-respect-impact-and-wellbeing\/","title":{"rendered":"On respect, impact and wellbeing\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"2609\" class=\"elementor elementor-2609\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-86c7585 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"86c7585\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ff09b16 elementor-widget elementor-widget-wp-widget-media_audio\" data-id=\"ff09b16\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"wp-widget-media_audio.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2609-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/audio-5.mp3?_=1\" \/><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/audio-5.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/audio-5.mp3\">https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/audio-5.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4fe4d1b e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"4fe4d1b\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c42d388 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c42d388\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The first draft of this note was originally written in 2020 and shared with a few people. I am finally happy to share the second and final draft:<\/p><p>\u201cTwo things made a really big impact on me today (dated 13 Feb 2020). Just two short moments that set off thoughts of how I want to articulate this.<\/p><p>The first thing was a Robin Williams quote. I can\u2019t remember what it was about, but I immediately thought about how sad I was when I found out about his death in 2014. I LOVED Robin Williams for acting talents, and anyone who\u2019s watched Dead Poets Society has the good mind to hold the same opinion about that man\u2019s ability to get into character and tell moving stories.<\/p><p>The thing that hurt me most about his death was just how much (I thought) everyone adored him and how that was \u201cnot enough\u201d to pull him back from the edge. This had me thinking about a whole lot of things related to mental health, the spaces we occupy and how people are impacted by those spaces and the people who fill them.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b6e8c1c e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b6e8c1c\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-99c09e0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"99c09e0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=-7OE6bDfM2M&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cba97ce e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"cba97ce\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-becdfc9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"becdfc9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">In my 3rd year of varsity, I was crazy about TED Talks and watched so many of them out of the thirst for knowledge, fascination on unfamiliar topics and sometimes even procrastination.&nbsp;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VaRO5-V1uK0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Sean Stephenson\u2019s talk on self-sabotage and self-advocacy (The Prison of Your Mind)&nbsp;<\/a><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">made such a huge impact on me; so much so, I still have a quote from the Talk on my wall at home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">\u201cLesson number 1: Never believe a prediction that doesn\u2019t empower you\u201d.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">I really took this lesson on. In the thoughts I choose to entertain, in the feedback and comments I received from others, in the spaces I felt I did not belong in, in the spaces felt comfortable in but not inspired by&#8230;you get the point. I sometimes forget to stick to this lesson for my own good, but it really informs a lot of the interactions with people around me.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">I have made it somewhat of a mission to never have someone walk away from a conversation with me feeling disempowered. I take that very seriously because I\u2019m very aware of the spaces we often find ourselves in and I really do not want to add myself onto the list of people that make other people feel terrible about themselves or small. I am by no means perfect at this, but I am almost always cautious about how I interact with people and impact their days. As an overthinker, I cringe so hard when I have foot-in-mouth moments where something I\u2019ve said could have stripped someone of their enthusiasm or drive or just generally landed badly&#8230;especially because of the spaces we occupy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">I\u2019ve mentioned these \u201cspaces\u201d quite a bit and here\u2019s why. See, as someone who has navigated contrasting spaces for over 20 years (since being awarded my scholarship at the Deutsche Schule at 9 years old), I\u2019ve made quite a lot of observations on varying interactions in social, academic and professional environments. Without making it too personal, I\u2019ve sometimes felt a bit misplaced in a number of spaces (being an awkward ambivert doesn\u2019t help) and because of this, I rate I have a good eye for spotting discomfort and\/or disempowerment in other people too. It\u2019s clear that people don\u2019t always readily realize how much of an impact their words and actions have on others; sometimes the circumstances are understandable and present opportunities to learn\/connect with others and other times they can be really frustrating, disrespectful and unacceptable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">I\u2019ve seen and heard of young people entering into these spaces where they\u2019re told to leave their emotions at the door but are being consistently frustrated or mistreated. Where you are in the hierarchy determines how many times you get thrown under the bus, your dreams\/ambitions and your family\u2019s way out of generational miseries will be reduced to \u2018admin\u2019, your time will not be respected, your priorities will be stress-tested, your mental health will be a talking point for group discussions but not for paid time off when you need it. People enter into spaces that are \u2018built\u2019 to reduce them and make them feel so much self-doubt that it can become palpable within these cultures. You see new graduates enter the workplace filled with so much enthusiasm and drive and leave as experienced professionals with their lights dimmed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">It\u2019s bad practice but it can become so much of the norm that it\u2019s hard to not find yourself being a part of \u201cthe culture\u201d where you also start to make fun of the over-zealous newbies and just wait until they see &#8220;the real world&#8221;. It\u2019s the norm&#8230;right? That&#8217;s just life&#8230;right? That&#8217;s how the world works.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">But you don&#8217;t have to subscribe to this norm, as a matter of fact, I implore to reject this version of &#8220;the real world&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">If not for your own personal beliefs and values, do it for the understanding that it serves the people you interact with no good for you to be a part of a system that only recognizes its problems at the time tragedies or health scares. People will need you to be more compassionate. I\u2019m not talking Kumbaya hand-holding around the boardroom or coddling your peers, I\u2019m not even talking about making work besties; it really it doesn\u2019t have to be anything fancier than respect and consideration. That\u2019s the foundation. To treat people, firstly, with respect and, secondly, to be observant and considerate when interacting with them. We literally do not know half the things that are happening in people\u2019s minds and hearts; so, let\u2019s maybe spare them the belittlement \/ disrespect \/ trip under the bus as far as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">Like I said I had two moments today. The second one was a message from a colleague of mine from one of my favourite teams while I was in articles. I teared up a little and told her about why it was so affirming for me to get a message like that. A message about impression and impact. I really strive to lift people up when they speak to me, to make them feel seen and heard. Sometimes I do feel like I might be doing too much and other times I miss the mark miserably.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">It is becoming more and more important for me to ensure that my impact on people\u2019s lives is encouraging; I have no interest in adding to the turmoil and\/ or pain of this world. <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">I know I didn\u2019t know the man personally (if at all, outside the characters he portrayed), but something about Robin Williams\u2019 death made me understand that no matter what ideas we have about people\u2019s lives, we are not always aware of their wellbeing, what they experiencing in the spaces they enter and what impact that has on their feelings of self-worth and mental health.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0cm 0cm 19.2pt 0cm;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: 'Open Sans',sans-serif; color: #62615c;\">The call to action here is to indiscriminately add respect and consideration in your interactions with people. And if you want to go a step further, some compassion could make a world of the difference to someone, so sprinkle it generously!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-02ea916 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"02ea916\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-db79867 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"db79867\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\u2014\u2013<\/p><p><i>Thank you for taking this time to read\/ listen to this blog<\/i>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The first draft of this note was originally written in 2020 and shared with a few people. I am finally happy to share the second and final draft: \u201cTwo things made a really big impact on me today (dated 13 Feb 2020). Just two short moments that set off thoughts of how I want to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2609"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2657,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2609\/revisions\/2657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}