{"id":2508,"date":"2023-12-17T16:10:01","date_gmt":"2023-12-17T16:10:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/?p=2508"},"modified":"2025-01-07T21:15:53","modified_gmt":"2025-01-07T21:15:53","slug":"community-as-a-marker-of-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/17\/community-as-a-marker-of-success\/","title":{"rendered":"COMMUNITY AS A MARKER OF SUCCESS"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"2508\" class=\"elementor elementor-2508\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7ee5163 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7ee5163\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a1e09df elementor-widget elementor-widget-wp-widget-media_audio\" data-id=\"a1e09df\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"wp-widget-media_audio.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2508-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/audio-4.mp3?_=1\" \/><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/audio-4.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/audio-4.mp3\">https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/audio-4.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a6b3175 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"a6b3175\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4a1f0a3 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"4a1f0a3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"389\" height=\"170\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Community_title.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2517\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Community_title.jpg 389w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Community_title-300x131.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 389px) 100vw, 389px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3f2a380 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"3f2a380\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4fa3b53 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4fa3b53\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Success means different things to us all.<\/p><p>I want to discuss the idea of community and collective love being a part of one\u2019s definition of success.<\/p><p>We all need community; a group of people who are in your life in differing capacities, who will help you fill your cup and whose cups you pour into too. All of our relationships build our sense of community and love, and no one person can be the source of all your companionship needs. We are full and whole human beings outside of every relationship we are party to. I am not just a sister, or a girlfriend, or an aunt or a best friend; I am Zamafuya \u2013 the person that remains when there is no one else in the room. But the room is big\u2026so, the community (kinda) needs to be big too.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fd0a125 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"fd0a125\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f2610b6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"f2610b6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">MY FAM<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6367e7a e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"6367e7a\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6b39ca5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6b39ca5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I have quite a big family. 5 siblings altogether, over 10 first cousins and around 20 nieces\/nephews\/second cousins. So family just\u2026numerically makes up the majority for me. My family, like many others, has a world of love to give but also comes with a world of baggage. Our own unique ties to one another, the support we\u2019ve shared, the arguments we\u2019ve gotten into, the traumas we\u2019ve survived and all the new life we\u2019ve welcomed over years and years. My siblings (on my mom\u2019s side) are 10 and 12 years older than me, so that age gap left a lot of room for unrelatable experiences for us while I was growing up. I\u2019m far closer in age to my second cousins and created familial friendships there. My siblings and our first cousins were more so \u201cdeputy parents\u201d to me as we grew older and they started creating families of their own.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4cda75e e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"4cda75e\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8bae872 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"8bae872\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-768x576.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2505\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8081-2048x1536.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ec25042 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ec25042\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-df8e2ce elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"df8e2ce\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I don\u2019t like to the concept of favouritism in many spheres of society, I\u2019ve seen how it has led to rifts in family structures, jealousy in friendships and mistreatment in the workplace. It generally tends to do more harm than good. It would be a lie to say my niblings are not my faves, though. Mainly as a result proximity and frequency of interactions. It has been so interesting to see the world through their eyes \u2013 seeing them understand things for the first time, teaching them pronunciations of new words, encouraging them to finish a challenging level of whatever game they&#8217;re playing that week \u2013 it\u2019s all been so fascinating. Being \u201cAunty Zama\u201d has really expanded my heart and unlocked a new level of love and knowledge for me. It\u2019s easy to see how you, as an adult, will teach children a lot about life, the world, how to win graciously or get back up after losing etc\u2026 But you will grow with them too. Kids are great teachers, not by instruction, but virtue of being there and asking a thousand questions per minute. You will learn a lot about yourself, your level of emotional intelligence and regulation and your knowledge or lack thereof. Overall, I think you will learn to become a better adult and better person if you are open to letting them soften your heart and make you think a bit more about the why\u2019s, how\u2019s and what about\u2019s that you previously didn\u2019t question.<\/p><p>As I\u2019ve grown in my adult years, I\u2019ve also had the opportunities to take up more responsibility and play \u2018big sister\u2019 to a few of my second cousins too<em>. One of my favourite<\/em> <em>recent experiences<\/em> was taking in my niece earlier this year as she left home for UCT. No small task taking care of a teen, even if it was for a 2-week period before classes started. Luckily, Zanele is a smart \/ smart-ass and calm Gen-Zer. She would throw the random ageist shade that they all do but it was honestly such a pleasure being able to step in and help her get accustomed to the Cape Town (I should get paid for how well I repped this city).<\/p><p>My familial community is one that is very important to me and keeping good, honest and loving connections with them gives me a sense of joy and forms part of my success definition.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-96fcac1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"96fcac1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0e08e6b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0e08e6b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">MY MATES<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71c75a7 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"71c75a7\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c58b5d8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c58b5d8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>My friendships are quite fragmented; many of the friends I\u2019ve made over the past 10 years are the ones who have stuck. Each of my friends has their own special place in my heart and I\u2019ve experienced life\u2019s peaks and troughs with them.<\/p><p>One of the things I\u2019ve openly wished I had is a\u201d girl squad\u201d!! I have beautiful, strong, fun and funny connections with a number of amazing women but not \u201cthe squad\u201d. I was having a conversation about this with one of my friends recently and she was of the view that that might be a blessing of its own given the issues that can come up within the squad dynamic (of any gender). Examples include the formation of mini-cliques, the potential for 1 conflict or misunderstanding costing you more people than the person with whom the issue started or being held back from experiencing certain things of personal interest because of groupthink.<\/p><p>I can appreciate this view.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aa0af84 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"aa0af84\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b4ccf9b e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"b4ccf9b\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dd23fa8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"dd23fa8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Admittedly, it does take quite a while for me to warm up to people. I tend to take the time to get to know people, interact with them in different settings over time, ask important questions to gain an understanding of who they are, what they\u2019ve been through and what they want and expect out of life. I generally enjoy my process and the concept of growing into friendship. So, I usually start off at arm\u2019s length with people whose company I enjoy (basically, just being respectful and sociable) and work my way into a deeper level of care, confidence, and openness\u2026and eagerness! The quality of relationships have started to mean something a lot deeper to me, so I\u2019m willing to put in the effort to get the chemistry \u201cjust right\u201d. Naturally, that means I don\u2019t get there with everyone but every relationship is unique with its own beauty and challenges.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ea7cc7e e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"ea7cc7e\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cabea6f elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"cabea6f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"680\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_7659-e1734377452750-768x680.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2506\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_7659-e1734377452750-768x680.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_7659-e1734377452750-300x266.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_7659-e1734377452750.jpg 789w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-242fae6 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"242fae6\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5bf91bb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5bf91bb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\u00a0Friendship is so beautiful, and I\u2019ve historically not been a fan of the term \u201cchosen family\u201d but building and keeping friendships really is tantamount to picking out new brothers and sisters to love all around the world. So, you lot might have won me over there.<\/p><p><em>One of my favourite not-so-recent experiences<\/em> with my friend, Nicole, was a conversation where she was talking about an unfortunate dating experience and how regretful she was about how things panned out. I was happy to be a safe space for her to vent but certainly had to interject when she said something quite unkind and negative about herself. What she said is not important part for you, the reader, to note. The fact that I know with certainty that she would not repeat those words to\/about another person \u2013 a person she loves or cares deeply about \u2013 is the reason I had to step in.<\/p><p>\u201cYou would never say that to someone you love\u2026so, why do you think it\u2019s okay to say about yourself?\u201d.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e097ae3 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"e097ae3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ce88c6b elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"ce88c6b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"176\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/friends-e1734377508510-300x176.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-2516\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/friends-e1734377508510-300x176.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/friends-e1734377508510-1024x602.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/friends-e1734377508510-768x451.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/friends-e1734377508510.jpg 1086w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7805a38 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7805a38\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bf5b8a0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bf5b8a0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Getting to know people deeply gifts us the confidence to have deeper conversations with them and to be able to love them when they are struggling to give themselves the same kind-heartedness they offer others. And they can help us do the same when we are in need too. To this end, high quality platonic relationships are definitely a part of my success definition, there are so so so \u00a0many positive and corrective social interactions you will have with your friends that will heal parts of you you didn\u2019t know were hurting.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4e24ec6 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"4e24ec6\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bac696b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"bac696b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">MY MAN<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71321f0 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"71321f0\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c43bce2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c43bce2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Mo and I have known each other for about 6.5 years in total and we\u2019ve been going as \u201cMoZam\u201d for just over 4 years now \u2013 the longest relationship yet for both of us. I love him romantically, obviously, but that 2.5-year friendship was really the best foundation for our relationship. It gave me such an appreciation for him as a person, as my friend and as a man.<\/p><p>To this day, even when we have arguments or disagreements, I pull myself towards peace and resolution by remembering that he is my friend who I loved before it got romantic and I believe that gives me an extra bit of grace for the situation.<\/p><p>Having a good and healthy relationship is a big part of my success definition. Our society does seem to either glorify or sh!t on romantic relationships in ways that, I think, tend to place too much pressure and emphasis on them, which can ultimately mess up the dynamic. I\u2019ve seen this play out in the extremes within social discourse. Whether it\u2019s the people who are jaded \/prideful \/ fearful \/ disinterested who swear that love and romance are dead. Or it\u2019s the people who are sucked all the way in, whose relationships are barely distinguishable from their own personhood, we\u2019ve all assumed a stance on the matter.<\/p><p>Romantic relationships are deeply personal though; while I understand that some expectations and experiences can be a direct reflection of a zeitgeist, I think we do tend to place too much value on what other people say \u201cit should feel like\/ be\u201d. Let\u2019s consider knocking that down a few notches.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ffd8b5d e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ffd8b5d\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b6f726 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"2b6f726\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4547dc6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4547dc6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I think the 2 people within a romantic relationship should invest time and effort into getting to really know one another in the time they interact with one another. Taking an interest in your partner, getting to know about their childhood, their dreams, their pains, their support system (or lack thereof) and all other big and small details is so important. You will be able to make an assessment on whether that person being in your life is going to improve or impair your quality of life and chances at success. For me, what society has to say about how men and women work, what planets we come from, what emasculates or defeminises shouldn\u2019t be as important as the deep and specific knowledge you gain about the person you love and what the best course for you 2 is. So, it\u2019s imperative to be wise and dialled into <strong>your<\/strong> relationship in deciding to stay\u2026 or leave.<\/p><p><span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; text-align: var(--text-align); background-color: var(--ast-global-color-5); color: var(--ast-global-color-3);\">Mo and I are not perfect, as individuals or as a couple. However, there is a lot of intention and warmth between us. So, it\u2019s definitely a very different romantic experience for us both for the last 4 years.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f8d3065 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"f8d3065\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b0c65b6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"b0c65b6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-2504\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_8446-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-827c736 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"827c736\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ed6f2a0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ed6f2a0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>He was the first person I spoke to about seriously pursuing this blog. I was hesitant to say anything, out of fear that I might not get an encouraging response. But my boi did not disappoint! His reaction was one of excitement, encouragement and affirmation. He told me it was very on-brand of me, that I\u2019d be very good at it and that he was willing to be my sounding board or ghost writer where necessary \u2013 so, definitely one<em>\u00a0of my favourite recent experiences\u00a0<\/em>in our relationship.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d338cdd e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"d338cdd\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6d9fd0e elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6d9fd0e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"64\" src=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/success-e1734377350393-300x64.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-2514\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/success-e1734377350393-300x64.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yoursilencewillnotsaveyou.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/success-e1734377350393.jpg 734w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-85c8f53 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"85c8f53\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0b74ca7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0b74ca7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>All in all, the markers of success are many. We spend a lot of time looking outward to our investment portfolios, the state of our homes, the designer wear we can now afford and our job titles as the key markers of success. Don\u2019t get me wrong, those things do matter but a big part of how we can feel contentment within our success story is having people we love by our side \u2013 feeling the warmth of their presence, their support, and their love in our lives. Successful relationships can be the difference between your glass half empty or half full perspective.\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; text-align: var(--text-align); background-color: var(--ast-global-color-5); color: var(--ast-global-color-3);\">\u2026 and when you continue to stick with and honour your family, friends and love interests over years and years, they can take your half full cup to that which <\/span><em style=\"font-weight: inherit; text-align: var(--text-align); background-color: var(--ast-global-color-5); color: var(--ast-global-color-3);\">overflows<\/em><span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; text-align: var(--text-align); background-color: var(--ast-global-color-5); color: var(--ast-global-color-3);\">.<\/span><\/p><p>_ _<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a89dd85 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"a89dd85\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2fd5119 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2fd5119\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">MY PEOPLE ARE NOT THE CONTENT<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-976adee e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"976adee\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b52ae3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b52ae3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I want to end off with a <b>disclaimer <\/b>\u2013 I generally don\u2019t want to talk too much about my current relationships on the blog. I respect my family, friends and Mo\u2019s privacy, and their personal and professional profiles. There will always be more context and detail that I can potentially share about the experiences I write about on the blog but I don\u2019t want to risk oversharing and making people feel uncomfortable or exposed. Generally, the ethos of the blog and my individual content is sociological with some personal elements. So, I want to continue to focus on the learnings, concepts and values and aim to avoid making other people\u2019s personal experiences with me the content itself.<\/p><p>\u2014\u2013<\/p><p>Thank you for taking this time to read\/ listen to this blog. \u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Success means different things to us all. I want to discuss the idea of community and collective love being a part of one\u2019s definition of success. We all need community; a group of people who are in your life in differing capacities, who will help you fill your cup and whose cups you pour into [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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